Wilbur

There's this dude named Wilbur who writes so many letters to the editor of my hometown newspaper that he's basically been cut off for the time being. But that doesn't stop him: Now he takes out half-page ads to vent about evolution and liberal clergy and hellfire and whatnot. Here's a quote: "And 'hell' is going to be sizzling hot and where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth for ever and for ever whether you believe it or not." Well, alrighty then. But here's the kicker - someone discovered that Wilbur's latest rant was copied, word for word, from a forum message on Ted Nugent's website! Criminy. If you're gonna be a raving crackpot, at least use your own words.

More choice quotes from Wilbur, concerning anti-war protestors: "tear off their fangs...tear out the teeth of these young lions, Lord...let them disappear like water...let them be as snails that dissolve into slime." Uh, okay. Do snails actually dissolve? I think they sort of shrivel.