Worst/Best Play Titles of 2006 Fringe

Below are my picks for Worst Fringe Play Titles of 2005. I haven't seen any of these shows, so I'm not saying the plays themselves are god-awful - just the titles. But then if the titles are this horrid, can content really be far behind?!

1. BitchSlap! (Drag queen comedy, naturally.)
2. CONFESSIONS OF A CLASS CLOWN, ADVENTURES OF A SUBSTITUTE TEACHER (Why are solo shows always CAPITALIZED?)
3. Designed Specifically for a Woman Like You (Ladies, don't let your fringe show sound like a tampon commercial!)
4. HIP-HOP 4 DUMMEEZ (perormed by white 20somethings, needless to say)
5. Two-man shows that don't even bother to find a name: Doug & Al - Life is But a Dream, Mike and Russ
6. The Breast Show (there are always 6-7 shows with these lame truth-in-advertising titles; Dick Jokes, Meet the Penis, Foursome or Moresome, etc. I suspect that another of this year's shows, THE BURNING BUSH!, also falls into this category)

And now, my selections for Best Fringe Play Titles of 2006:

1. EFFable
2. Journey to the Centre of a Doughnut
3. MAUDLIN DEMENTIA
4. Neruda Nude
5. The Beloved Dearly
6. The Kingship of NNNNNorp! (Don't know why - I just like it. "Norp" has a nice ring to it.)

And, to top off my lists, here are the plays that I will not watch unless I am actually abducted and tied to a chair in the theatre:

• The Times They Are A-Changin': A Tribute to Peter, Paul, and Mary. I salute this show with A Tribute to My, Middle, and Finger.
• The Kingship of NNNNorp! (hey, I only said I liked the title)

One show that looks interesting:

Bash: The Latterday Plays by Neil Labute. I've seen all the movies written by Labute and I like some of them, although Patrick Marle's Closer and Your Friends and Neighbors lost their charm for me because they're virtually identical. It's as if one of these two playwrights said, "Hey, dude, I'll write a hit play and then a few years from now you can write the exact same one 'cause people might have forgotten about mine by that time!" And I'm guessing this took place in a bar. (speaking of Closer, that's a hidden Fringe gem I enjoyed - if you can call being totally creeped out "enjoyment") Anyway, Labute is a major cynic when it comes to male-female relations, and basically seems to believe the battle of the sexes is reaching holocaust proportions; ya gotta wonder who this dude dates. Seriously, he's like Strindberg on a very bad day.

Bash is about troubled Mormons. This is funny, because I once compiled a list of "Confused Mormons", and Neil Labute was at the top of the list.