Received a phone call from Bob, The Street Poet From Hell. Bob used to be a fixture on Whyte Ave., marching up and down the sidewalks waving a neatly printed menu of his poetry from which, for a small fee, passerbys could select one of his works for him to recite. Bob is quite talented and quite insane. He's known Richard for years and the two get along well because Richard also writes poetry and is extremely kind to crazy people. Today Bob wanted to tell us all about the "biggest Catholic miracles the world has ever seen". Recently he was in a Vancouver Catholic hospital for an infected ingrown hair, and he was keen to see the room where his mother died years ago. He asked a doctor about it. The doctor looked at his finger and said, "You know, I just had an infection exactly like that. And I was in this very room, on the same medication." Bob asked "Which finger?" and the doc held up the same finger.
Miracle #1. Apparently the Pope will be bowled over by this one.
Bob then asked about his mother's room. He was sure it had been somewhere on the 6th floor, but the doc informed him that was the dialysis ward at the time his mom died. She must have been on the 7th floor - the very floor they were standing in! Bob described his mom and his family to the doc and found out that doctor had been his mom's nurse at the time she died! He remembered the room number, and it was a mere 45 feet from Bob's room.
Miracle #2. Bob thinks the Pope will be sh***ing himself over this one.
There are a number of lesser miracles, but he didn't go into those.
The gist of the conversation was that Bob has been experiencing such miracles and other paranormal events for two years now. So has his ex-girlfriend, a lovely Ph.D. student (I met her), but he can't discuss any of this with her because she's married.
Also, someone made a short film about him and he feels this will launch him into the stratosphere of fame and Catholic glory. He's certain all 85 million Catholics will buy a copy of his published poems.
If you think any of this is weird, that's only because I haven't told you about my grandmother...
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
9 comments:
My diagnosis? Classic schizophrenia. How do I know? Let me tell you about my mother-in-law.
heehee.
Don't laugh. Things have been WAY too quiet at her end for awhile. I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Recently he was in a Vancouver Catholic hospital for an infected ingrown hair
All right. If this guy was so full of miracles, how come he couldn't get rid of a stupid ingrown hair? ;)
sme - if your husband is extremely kind to crazy people, he should immediately be nominated for sainthood. Because no matter how much it resonates in my head that these people can't help the way they are, I have soooooo much trouble having the patience to deal with them.
Never met you husband, butI admire him a lot!
Let me know when this guys book of poetry come out.. I'm buying one, It is the least I can do!
just rrealized I jumped to an unsubtantiated assumption there. Should have said "Richard" rather than husband because I actually have no idea as to your personal situation. Apologies! (does life ever seemoverwhelmingly complicated, or is it just me?)
GWB, to further confuse you, you can also call him Doug, which everybody but SME does.
They haven't had a ceremony, but they are married in every other way, including common law in Alberta.
We love Doug to death and are proud to call him our son-in-law! We don't need a piece of paper to accept him as part of our crazy family.
He really is one of the kindest and most open people you'd ever want to meet.
SME, feel free to correct me or add to what I've said. Love you guys!!
it is so easy to confuse me.. Let me just say the Richard/Doug seems to be a great person!
GWB - It's complicated, but isn't everything? Technically Richard isn't my husband, but he's more of a husband than my husband was!
Post a Comment