2 Days Til You-Know-What

Driving through the Canadian prairies in the middle of the night with Demi and Richard in a Hyundai crammed full of snacks, stuffed animals, and winter coats while listening to the country music stations ("We play both kinds: Country and Western!") broadcast an endless stream of such classic redneck ditties as "Santa Didn't Like the Cookies, But He Drank All Daddy's Beer", is interesting. Right away the questions and stories begin.

• "Terry says when a bug hits the windshield, his butt goes through his brains. Only he said the "a" word. Is that true?"
• "Can you get a chinchilla someday? They lick your nose."
• "Yesterday, it was so warm outside I saw a bee. Or maybe it was a fly. Or fluff."
• "Do you think God has a birthday?"

And, of course, the rousing rendition of "Roxanne" from Moulin Rouge sung by both Richard and Demi in that weird Latin voice...at top volume. Twice.