Get Your Tickets Early...

Since Broadway doesn't make much sense anyway, I think the common man should take some initiative and try to get his/her own shows produced. I came up with the (horrible) idea of a musical Streetcar long before either Andre Previn or The Simpsons did. And two of my favourite movies - Hairspray and The Producers - became hit musicals, so why shouldn't I have a say? Here are a few of my ideas of what should be on Broadway, or reasonably close to it, in the near future...

Hairy: This will be a lot like Rent. A group of quirky friends live semi-communally as they navigate life's choppy waters. Only they're 50something hippies, so instead of facing unemployment and STDs, they're facing equally tragic things like Bob Dylan's imminent retirement, indigestion, the dearth of organic veggies in their neighborhood bistros, and the difficulties of fitting knitting class and yoga into the same afternoon when arthritis is flaring up.

Necronomicon, the Musical: In which the demented world of H.P. Lovecraft comes to life through song, dance, and giant squishy things that are either animatronic or played by people wearing sneakers, kinda like Lion King. You know, for kids.

And in the tradition of Victorian and Edwardian thrillers being dusted off and morphed into musical extravaganzas (Phantom of the Opera, The Woman in White, etc.), how about The Turn of the Screw with the haunting theme song, "Is Everybody Here Frickin' Crazy Except For Me?"