Grow up.

Rush Limbaugh and a handful of other neokooks are still insisting Mark Foley was just tricked (or perhaps seduced) by mischievous pages. Sure. And Straight Incorporated, the atrociously misguided and abusive "drug rehab" program that was started by ambassador to Italy Mel Sembler and heartily endorsed by Mark Foley, was effective and humane.

Don't even get me started.

On a lighter-yet-equally-disturbing note, Book the Eleventh of the Series of Unfortunate Events (The Grim Grotto) contains this description of villains that could easily double as a Bush administration checklist:

"there are a few things that appear to be necessary to every villain's success. One thing is a villainous disregard for other people... Another thing villains require is a villainous imagination, so that they might spend their free time dreaming up treacherous schemes in order to further their villainous careers. Villains require a small group of villainous cohorts, who can be persuaded to serve the villain in a henchpersonal capacity. And villains need to develop a villainous laugh, so that they may simultaneously celebrate their villainous deeds and frighten whatever nonvillainous people happen to be nearby."

But as the hook-handed man says, "People aren't either wicked or noble. They're like chef's salad, with good things and bad things chopped and mixed together in a vinaigrette of confusion and conflict."