Saturday, September 29, 2007

What Annoys You?

I don't mean truly evil things like pedophilia or wrongful convictions; I mean those niggling, obnxious little things that chip away at your nerves bit by bit until you're a flaming maelstrom of impotent rage. You know.

5 things I find annoying:

1. the music of Michael Buble
Yesterday Glenn Beck mentioned that he and his wife shelled out $600 for Michael Buble tickets (I don't know if that was together or apiece, but either way it's obscene). He said it was worth every penny. In fact, he and Buble lavished so much mutual admiration all over each other that Richard was pretty sure they were gonna hook up after the show.
Now, Buble is cute in that square Boy Scoutish way and he has a nice voice. But why can't anyone just face the fact that he is essentially a Sinatra impersonator? He doesn't have his own sound. He doesn't have his own image. Any hipness the poor guy can muster is just the rapidly receding afterglow of the Rat Pack glinting off of his hair gel.

I love Sinatra, but no way would I put down more than $50 to see the very best Sinatra impersonator in the world (and a quick google shows there are plenty of competitors). If Sinatra was resurrected, or put in one of those little head-jars like on Futurama, then maybe I'd pay $600 to see him. Maybe. But I doubt it. I'd have to be drunk or temporarily insane or something.

2. Over-processed foods. Why do they have to contain more salt than the Dead Sea? WHY?

3. Those little plastic thingies on the end of breadbags. Why can't they just make the bread to fit the bag? Is that so hard? Thousands of years of evolution, and we don't understand how to make the bread loaves big enough to fit into a bag, or at least make the bag smaller?

4. Health food/diet fads. "Oh my god, you're not on the boiled artichoke and bratwurst diet yet? Well, don't blame me when you're dead at 30."

5. That song in the middle of Scarface. Sure, you can skip past it, but you'll still know it's there.


tshsmom said...

Children that put wet towels in the hamper! ;)
Car alarms!

SME said...

You forgot cel phones. ;)

The Zombieslayer said...

Car alarms, cell phones, yuppies, the Fatkins diet and everyone on it, Michael Bolton, Celine Dion, every boy band that ever existed, and parents who won't watch their kids.

That was fun. I feel better now.

SME said...

That's good! Get it all out! Don't let Michael Bolton destroy your mind, like he has so many others...


tweetey30 said...

People that have room mates that let them sleep in their sons room and then have the room mate send son someplace with friends and he stinks because of roommate. Yuckie. Kids that are forever getting in trouble. LOL... Yes I was referring to mine. Kids not cleaning up spilled messes on the kitchen floor or telling an adult about it at least. Other things also but hey those are a few.

Laura said...

#5: Totally!! Actually all Brian dePalma films contain some really bad music. I wonder why?

People talking on cell phones waaaaay too loud in public places and for extended periods. I can understand "I'm on my way" but there's no need to hold your entire conversation on the freeeeekin train.

Willfull ignorance - people who don't know what's going on in the world and don't care to know.

Lack of common courtesy: like, let me get OFF the elevator before you get on, don't let a door slam in my face when I'm right behind you, don't take up the entire sidewalk with your fancy trixie double-wide strollers...

wow, that is cathartic.

tshsmom said...

Oh, I thought we were going for MINOR annoyances. Cell phones are a MAJOR annoyance. People that don't watch their kids is on the TOP of my list, but this one actually is earth-shaking and dangerous!

Laura, I'm with you on those huge strollers. They're not even maneuverable!
I always preferred one of those fold-up umbrella strollers. They're easy to steer, and they fold up and easily fit on the floor in the back seat of your car.

SME said...

Oh man, those massive strollers! I KNOW! You have a person who's not even 20 lbs, and you transport him/her in a thing big enough to house a small family.

The Zombieslayer said...

Heh. You all brought up those huge strollers. Oh yeah, I hate them too.