Monday, September 17, 2007

Welcome to my pity party...



It's just like a tea party, except there's no party and no tea.


There's no point in pretending any longer: I'm depressed. Whether it's just a fit of the seasonal blues or my ol' buddy clinical depression making its continuous presence known more forcefully than usual, it's here.

I'm just not finding joy in much of anything right now. I'm reluctant to go out - though, admittedly, I don't really have anywhere to go. After this weekend's one-act committee meeting I won't be seeing anyone other than 9/11 people for weeks, perhaps a month or more. And the Truthers are Richard's crowd, not mine. They tolerate me with poorly concealed suspicion. And, frankly, I find most of their conversations circular and dull. If not outright stupid. A new girlfriend of one Truther said she's tired of being a "like, a prawn" in the corporate system - please, please tell me she just misspoke!! I don't think she did, but tell me anyway. Please tell me she doesn't think she's going to be butterflied or deep-fried, or thrown into a scampi, by the Powers That Be.

Some more volunteer work might be the answer, but of course it's hard to work up the enthusiasm for that when I'm depressed.

13 comments:

tweetey30 said...

SME I am sorry to hear about the dpression. It comes and goes. Just think about the good time you had here and on your big trip but I dont have any other solutions. Hope it gets better before it gets worse for you.

scrunch said...

"Like a Prawn?".....

Man at Red Lobster:

"I'll have the Truther platter, with melted butter...."

Things not to do when you're depressed:

Don't read novels or books you've been meaning to get to...every little thing they write is going to hit home in a different way than if you read it at any other time.....

Don't sit still. 'they can't catch you if you're moving'.....

Wandering Coyote said...

Yep, it's hard to get motivated when feeling shitty, yet the motivation is what we need in order to feel a bit better - one of the huge paradoxes of the illness that I deal with on a daily basis.

A prawn, eh...Hm...That's actually really quite hilarious...

Notta Wallflower said...

My heart goes out to you - I get that way as well. Depression runs in both sides of my family, and I have it from time-to-time. :-/

SME said...

Thanks, everybody. It comes and goes, and I'm patient.

Dad, I took your advice and dropped "The Jungle" for now. Mother of God, that has GOT to be the most dismal book ever written!!! Well, except Harold Robbins...

The Zombieslayer said...

I have just the thing.
Grab Emacs from here:
ftp://ftp.gnu.org/gnu/emacs/windows/

Install it, then go to the Help tab, then go to the psychotherapist. You can have a nice conversation with him telling him (or her, don't know the gender of a computer program) why you are depressed.

This is a Unix program for programming software that for some reason, they thought it would be funny to add a therapist to it. That version works on a Windows box, which I assume is what you have. If I'm wrong, don't worry, there are Mac versions as well.

SME said...

Heh heh, must be better than some flesh-&-blood therapists...

Laura said...

Have you tried a Happy Lite? I know I get feelin that way when the weather turns and it helps. Verilux makes them (they're a bit pricey, but well worth it).

It's hard to go and do stuff and meet new people, I know. John doesn't really like socializing with strangers that often and so that often leaves me on my own to go to stuff - which is no fun if you don't know anyone else there.

SME said...

Exactly - I mean there's plenty to do, but more or less on my own. Blah. I'm looking into some volunteering ops in the downtown area.

I have thought of trying a happy light - they work for a lot of people and I think it would be worth a shot. My depression isn't a seasonal thing, but it can get pretty bad in those winter months when there's not enough sunlight.

--R said...

Hey SME, I feel for you on the depression front. I agree on the "don't sit still" advice too. And I'm glad you put down The Jungle! I made the mistake of reading that one summer while in the throes of a pretty deep depression... all I can say is don't do it!
On a lighter note, that "prawn" joke made me laugh out loud at 8 in the morning. Go you! Thanks for the illustration, too! :)
Feel better -- and we're all here for you!

SME said...

Thanks sooo much. Of course I don't like anyone else to go through funks, but it IS nice to know I'm not alone. I'm trying to stay as active as I can muster right now, but the change of seasons are always a rough time for some reason. Drawing dumb little toons helps. And putting down "The Jungle" in favor of "Fast Food Nation" was vital.
Glad you liked Evan. ;)

Vest said...

Like a prawn - she should stop scshrimping her resposibilities.

Vest said...

Am I different? I detest confusion and try to stay cool and work things out, the answer to the problem may or may not be favorable if you are honest; but it does reveal the truth.
Hatred(dislike)and being depressed (Not physically) but mentally is a spinoff the child tantrum syndrome.
Most people do not get what they want out of life and those who do get off their ass and get it done.

Don't be a Pawn. The World can be your Prawn - er (Oyster).