Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Pineapple Land


Maybe I've written about this before (I can't remember), but when my parents were first married my dad started muttering stuff in his sleep one night as if he was taking instructions. "Uh-huh...yes...okay...sure..." And when Mom asked him what the hell he was saying, he told her, "That can of pineapple on the counter is talking to me." (There has been some debate, over the years, on whether or not there actually was a can of pineapple on the counter.) So now whenever somebody's sleepy to the point of not making any sense, or even out cold, we all call it "Pineapple Land".

Well, Richard has taken Pineapple Land to insane new levels over the years. For a while he was taking paintings off the walls in his sleep (subconscious redecorating, I called it). Sometimes he chats with invisible people in a totally conversational tone: "Well, howdy! What brings you here? How ya doin'?" Then he was giving me orders in his sleep: "Hey! Check that thing, will ya? Make sure it's not on fire." And I'd have to pretend to check the unspecified thing just to shut him up. Now it's instructions that make even less sense: "Don't bring any staples in here! And make sure there are no slivers on your pajamas!" (no, I rarely - if ever - go to bed covered in staples and slivers).

And this morning there was a long, semi-coherent diatribe about dust: "When we all got in this box, somebody started throwing dust particles into it. Some were little [holds thumb and forefinger a fraction of an inch apart] and some were this big [throws arms wide, nearly knocking me off the bed]. But when I tried to put in some dust they ran over and said 'No no no, we don't put there in there!' So." And then he zonked out.

10 comments:

tweetey30 said...

Sounds like Jeff when he's dreaming..LOL..He was muttering so bad the night before last I had to wake him up to see if he was ok.

SME said...

Heh heh, I guess it's just a man thing. The problem is, if I try to wake Richard up in the middle of one of his sleep-rants, the rants get even weirder. Like "Why did you have to let that monkey loose in here?" or something.

tshsmom said...

No, there wasn't a can of pineapple on the counter!

Lately, Dad's been sitting bolt upright and hollering stuff like "Oh f**k!", or "Dammit!" Then the dog starts growling, because he thinks there's somebody outside.
Dad sleeps through it; I'm wide awake by that time. :(

My word verification is gagbadtd. Is that, that place in Irag? heehee

SME said...

Oh, Richard has the angry dreams too. "SOB! You bastard!" etc. That's fun. And if I do manage to wake him up he says "Hey, wudja wake me up for?!"

Hmm, "gag" and "bad" and "td"...maybe it's a description of Turkish Delight! ;D

tshsmom said...

THAT explains the td! ;)

SME said...

Makes sense to me.

Z-kid said...

Why was I never told of the pineapple can story? This family has so many great stories I've never heard. :|

SME said...

WHAT?! You've never been introduced to PINEAPPLE LAND?!?! THAT is a crime. A tragedy. A tragic crime.

Well, now you know. ;D

Anonymous said...

That does it. Have gotta get me some pineapple!

tshsmom said...

BB, either that or a weird bed partner like SME and I have. ;)