It isn't hard to cobble together a conspiracy theory. There are even Mad Libs-style generators to help you do it (here's one tailor-made for left-wingers). Of course, once you've thrown together a theory, you don't actually have to prove it or anything. You can just leave it hanging out there for years for people to uncritically accept. Easy, no? Richard and I both came up with conspiracy theories this week:
- My theory: Since NFL football is a scripted, fixed farce (see essay by this guy), I think not just Herschel Walker but all players are programmed by the CIA/FBI/NASA/NSA to have multiple personalities that can be switched on or off with handy trigger words (maybe "Monday Night"). That way they never realize they're being forced to throw games. They really believe they suck and turn into alcoholic, violent wrecks instead.
- Richard's theory: Heath Ledger was assassinated by the U.S. government in retaliation for Australia's decision to not send more troops into Afghanistan. Other famous Aussie nationals might be in danger, too. But Mel Gibson is safe 'cause no one likes him, anyway.
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