Sunday, March 09, 2008

Thanks a lot, THEM...

An illucid 2004 "article" by a conspiracy dude who calls himself "cbsworks" offers this bit of wisdom:

"Mel Gibson is a THEM. In his movie, THE PATRIOT, his first words are, when weighing a chair: '9 pounds, eleven ounces...perfect.' This was a message to many CIA operatives and the elite that plans were going forward."

For the love of God, why can't They use email? Must the bastards produce a Mel Gibson flick each and every time They have something to say to each other?!

I guess hanging around with untalented, alcoholic bigots has rendered THEM functionally retarded. They could just use webdings to convey their coded messages, like this: BE SURE TO DRINK YOUR OVALTINE.

(I found out that cbsworks is Don Bradley, a psychically gifted ex-Illuminati member, an oracle for The Great White Brotherhood, a former Mason, a Rosicrucian, an author, a composer and classical musician, a syndicated columnist, a credentialed teacher, and a network engineer. He must have one funky-looking resume. His friend Don Croft says Bradley was "rigorously and personally trained after adolescence by one of the dark masters, named Torkum Sassarian, who personally oversaw the creation of the hippie movement". His parents were both from Illuminati bloodlines, though his mum was sold to his CIA/Satan-worshipping father for $1300, by the Jesuits.)

10 comments:

tshsmom said...

Would somebody PLEASE make up their minds?! Are the Illuminati Jews, Jesuits, or space aliens? I'm SO confused! ;)

It looks like our gov't is wasting a whole lotta money on high-tech communications devices for the CIA, if they have to watch a movie to get their messages.

Well, there's another failed Illuminati plot for you! Why would they think the hippie movement would HELP them? Being a "fringe hippie" myself, I'm fairly certain that we would've rebelled against the Illuminati "establishment" too.

Laura said...

These people have to stop reading fuckin' Dan Brown novels and get a life. Seriously.

Oh, and DUH... the Jews ARE space aliens...

to quote the Dead Milkmen:
You know what Stuart? I like you. You're not like the other people here in the trailer park. Oh no, don't get me wrong, they're fine people, good Americans. But they're content to sit back, maybe watch a little Mork and Mindy on channel 57. Maybe kick back a cool Coors 16-ouncer. They're good fine people, Stuart. But they don't know what the queers are doing to the soil.

You know that Johnny Werzner kid - the kid who delivers papers in the
neighborhood? He's a fine kid. Some of the neighbors say he smokes crack, but I don't believe it. Anyway, for his 10th birthday, all he wanted was a burrow owl, just like his old man. "Dad, get me a burrow owl. I'll never ask for anything else as long as I live". So the guy breaks down and buys him a burrow owl. Anyway at 10:30 the other night I go out into my yard and there's the Werzner kid looking up in the tree. I said, "What are you looking for?" He said, "I'm looking for my burrow owl." I say, "Jumping Jesus on a pogo stick! Everybody knows that a burrow owl lives in a hole in the ground! Why the hell do you think they call it a burrow owl, anyway?!" Now Stuart, do you think a kid like that is gonna know what the queers are doing to the soil?

I first became aware of this, about 10 years ago, the summer my oldest boy Bill Jr. died. You know that carnival that comes to town every year? Well this year it came with a ride called the Mixer. The man said "Keep your head and arms inside the mixer at all times." But Bill Jr., he was a daredevil, just like his old man. He was leaning out saying, "Hey everybody! Look at me, look at me!" POW! He was decapitated. They found his head over by the snowcone concession. A few days after that, I open up the mail and there's a pamphlet in there, from Pueblo, Colorado. And it's addressed to Bill Jr. And it's entitled, "Do you know what the queers are doing to our soil?"

Now Stuart, if you look at the soil around any large U.S. city with a big underground homosexual population - Des Moines, Iowa, perfect example. Look at the soil around Des Moines, Stuart. You can't build on it, you can't grow anything in it. The government says it's due to poor farming. But I know what's really going on, stuart. I know it's the queers.
They're in it with the aliens. They're building landing strips for gay Martians. I swear to God.

You know what Stuart, I like you. You're not like the other people, here in the trailer park.

SME said...

From what I understand, the Illuminati are Jews, Jesuits, AND space aliens. Oh, and trans-dimensional shapeshifting lizards. All at the same time.

The weirdest hippie conspiracy theory I've heard is that the FBI or CIA created the Grateful Dead just to lure kids away from social issues and get them to hang out on buses all the time.

Laura, that is freakin' hilarious! I think I might've met that guy a time or three.

Laura said...

The CIA created the Grateful Dead to lure people away from social issues? OK, so who's responsible for Pro-Wrasslin' then? That not only lures good ol' God-fearin white men away from politics but plants a subliminal streak of homoeroticism in their brains... That must have been the damn Leftists....

Laura said...

Oh, and Bill Maher got a good dig in on the Truthers last week (along with how dumb Americans can be in general). Here's the YouTube link - it's toward the end, but all the New Rules are pretty funny.

SME said...

Yep, I just assume They created pro wrestling, cheap beer, monster truck rallies (to lure people away from church on Sunday! Sunday! Sunday!, maybe?), and all those obnoxious teen TV dramas in which 30something actors pretend to be feeling all alienated and depressed.

I think Bill Clinton gave the best answer to the hecklers: "People didn't come here to listen to YOU!"

Richard is getting hella-annoyed with these Maher- and Clinton-harrassing folks who seem to think that any amount of attention, however negative, is good for their cause.

tshsmom said...

LMFAO Laura!! I just watched the video...
Bush wasn't behind 9/11 because it involved PLANNING!

Yup, that's the same reason I don't believe in FEMA camps; because FEMA is totally INEPT!

SME said...

The Maher video was hilarious. "If you want to see politicians stuffing things into their mouths, go to the airport bathroom." ;D

Laura said...

Yeah, I love the "Whether Obama is a Muslim or not isn't a point of debate, it's an easily verifiable fact... you know that computer the Nigerians keep using to get your pin number? You can also use it to find out stuff"...

Gardenia said...

Whhooooooo - Don Bradley reminds me of a couple of guys who really liked me. I must send out some kind of waves of........something.

I'm laughing so at laura's comments - that is a woman I want to know...