Monday, November 17, 2008

Demons or Bunnies?

Today I learned that the star of Paranormal State (and head of Penn State's Paranormal Research Society), Ryan Buell, refers to demons as "bunnies". (He's been dealing with "bunnies" since childhood, and now makes a pretty good living telling other folks how to de-bunnify their households.) Buell's logic is that you can't really be menaced by bunnies, so calling evil spirits bunnies helps to disempower them.

I beg to differ. Bunnies can be, and almost always are, completely freaking evil.

To put this to the test, here's a list of weird phenomena. You tell me whether each phenomenon is caused by poltergeists, bunnies, neither, or both. (Answers are at the bottom.)

1. Electrical interference, appliances going haywire
2. Dishes, knick-knacks, and other objects flying through the air
3. Puddles of water or other liquid mysteriously appearing on floors, walls, or furniture
4. Disembodied footsteps, voices, loud bangs, other noises
5. Clumps of fuzz appearing out of nowhere to clog drains, stick to dark clothing, and tickle your nose

The good news is, if you've merely got a poltergeist or other evil discarnate entity hanging around your house, you can call in the Penn State kids or some other ghostbusting club and have it flushed out in half an hour. Bunnies are harder to get rid of because they're so danged cute that you end up forgiving them within half an hour. Then giving them a carrot.

1. Can be caused by poltergeists, but is more likely the result of your bunny snacking on your electrical cords.
2. Poltergeists.
3. If the liquid is on the wall above, say, 2 feet, you've got a poltergeist. All other puddles are bunny-created.
4. Footsteps and voices are poltergeists; chewing noises are definitely bunnies.
5. Bunnies. Or hairy poltergeists.


tweetey30 said...

Nice one SME... I like how you say could be... LOL... Thanks for sharing..

tshsmom said...

Did you get the phone line fixed yet? ;)

I remembered what I wanted to ask you, but it's a moot point now.

Laura said...

My Life With the Thrill Kill Kult has a song called Devil Bunnies. Maybe it should be Sophie's theme song...

SME said...

The phone cord is more static! :D

Laura, that totally fits. I also found out the other day that the Celtic Pooka is said to take the form of a giant, terrifying rabbit sometimes. Humungous bunnies would scare the &*%$# out of me...

tshsmom said...

Harvey wasn't scary. ;)

jenalie_mulder_2177 said...

Hah...bunnies...sounds like Ryan for ya.

Z-kid said...

Yay, I passed the test! :D

Except for the part about puddles, I haven't heard enough poltergeist stuff about puddles to figure that out I guess.

SME said...

Well, more like slime oozing from walls. But sometimes puddles (google "water poltergeist").