Friday, May 15, 2009

The Latest Scourge

Today I caught a few minutes of Dr. Phil, and it was deeply disturbing. A nice, middle-class couple was tearfully talking about how their son had somehow gone off the rails despite their loving, conscientious parenting. The mother had written a long poem about what it might be like to bury their son if he didn't straighten out soon, and talked about the grieving process she had to go through when his personality changed dramatically. The father wept and said he blamed himself for his son's condition. Clearly, this kid had a serious drug problem. So it was very troubling when his photo was flashed on the screen; he was only about 12 years old, 13 tops! He still looked very much like a child, with chipmunky cheeks and a big grin on his face.

So what got him? Was it heroin? Meth?

Um. No. It was Pixy Stix. You know, those little straws full of sugar?

Yeah. It seems kids are snorting powdered candy and "exhaling" it to simulate cigarette smoking. While there's a minor choking hazard involved, not to mention some nasal and/or laryngeal irritation issues, it's not particularly harmful. Stupid, yes. A waste of candy, yes. But not harmful.
Please relax, parents. Your kids may be kinda dumb, but they're not going to die from exhaling Necco wafer fumes or inhaling pulverized Sweet Tarts. And they're probably not going to go straight from candy to crack. Hell, when I was in middle school some of the boys were into snorting white flour, and I don't think any of them turned into street addicts. They eventually got bored with it, tired of having nosebleeds all the time, and forgot the whole thing. Despite their dumbassery, they even managed to function in society! Now their kids are probably snorting their wives' Crystal Light, and the grand circle of life continues.

11 comments:

Wandering Coyote said...

OMG, I am so sorry I missed this episode now (my Dr. Phil watching has lapsed these last few months, actually...no particular reason...) because it sounds like great blog-fodder.

Pixy Stix? Seriously? My God...

SME said...

Yep, Pixy Stix. Although Sweet Tarts are the drug of choice, for some reason.
Apparently there are a lot of YouTube vids on how to smoke candy.

tweetey30 said...

What are they going to invent next for kids to do or what are kids going to invent next for other kids to think of doing...

SME said...

I was wondering the same thing...crazy stuff.

SME said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Laura said...

Dr. Phil is a TOOL.

SME said...

To Dr. Phil's credit, he did tell the parents they should chill out and be grateful that their kid doesn't do actual drugs, 'cause candy-snorting won't kill him.

sp said...

Are you kidding? Is that a joke? Surely that show can't be real.

Whatever happened to those chewing gum cigarettes that were packaged like Lucky Strikes and when you blew into the paper wrapped gum, it expelled a puff of powder that looked like smoke.

SME said...

I think they stopped making candy cigs around 20 years ago; kids today don't even know they existed. ;D
I don't remember anybody freaking out about those...

The Zombieslayer said...

Kids do stupid things. It's part of being a kid.

If I had a dollar for every stupid thing I did....

Parents overreact about everything.

SME said...

My thoughts exactly. These parents are pretty lucky that's the biggest problem they've encountered so far.