I'm having one of those days. A seemingly bottomless sadness welled up hours ago and hasn't subsided. It's partly that Sophie may be very sick; her appetite comes and goes, and she's losing weight. Richard doesn't want to have another critter in the house after she dies, and the thought of losing her and spending my nights alone in an animal-free household makes me sick with sadness. I adore having animals around, even if it's just a couple of hamsters. I've enjoyed Sophie more than I can express.
I feel very disconnected from everyone right now. My grandpa, as most of you know, is very sick. But he won't talk to me on the phone anymore. This could partly be his illness, which makes him very tired. But I should mention that my grandparents stopped calling me several years ago, because they have an almost pathological aversion to answering machines. At least, that's the reason they've given.
They told my mother they didn't want me to stay with them after Grandpa's surgery, because I would force them to eat vegetarian meals or something (again, that's just the reason they've given - who the hell knows what the real reasons could be?).
I just feel very sad, very alone.
Petscop: Overview of Video 5
5 weeks ago