Richard is going through some kinda phase where his word goes and anything I say is wrong. Yesterday he told me he doesn't want Sophie to be litterbox-trained, after all; instead he wants me to teach her to hop in and out of her cage to do her business. (hopping in is fine, but she's terrified of hopping out and has to be lifted). There go 3 weeks of highly successful litter training. I pointed out that even though litterboxes can be a bit messy, rabbits adore spending time in them, digging through their wood shavings. I offered to be extra vigilant about keeping shavings off the floor, but he wouldn't bend on this. If his retraining program doesn't work, I have no idea what to do.
Today we were heading out to the mall to pick up some new bunny toys. We got as far as the alley behind our building, where Richard spotted a decrepit old kitchen cart in front of the dumpster, along with a silver shoerack and a rectangular piece of wood. He looked these things over and announced he could find uses for all of them, including the shoerack (we already have one and I like it just fine, thank you very much). I pointed out that we had no place to put the cart and no use for it whatsoever, anyway. I said, "Let's just go." I said, "Forget about it. We don't need this stuff." And nothing I said made one microscopic speck of difference. He asked me to wait around in the alley while he took this shit upstairs. I said no. He said yes. I decided I wasn't going to wait around in the frigging exhaust-choked alley in the cold while he horsed around with a bunch of garbage that's going to take up valuable space in our teeny condo and said, "Fine, I'll do my thing, you do yours!" And stomped off to the mall alone.
I don't usually complain about Richard here. There's very little to complain about. But do all men go through this infuriating "My way or the highway" phases? In my opinion, no one should get their own way all the time. You have to know when to back down.
Update: He bought me a solid chocolate bunny from Purdy's, so I guess I can't stay mad forever. Men. *sigh*
14 comments:
Consider yourself lucky; I have to buy my own chocolate!
Oh, I know. He's great most of the time. But SOMETIMES... ;{
He did give Sophie a high-sided box full of paper outside her cage. She seems very happy with that. And he took the stupid cart back down to the garbage. ;)
I agree with mom. LOL... I hope things are better now. Its hard when they want something. J has never done that to me but my time will come when he thinks we need something and I dont. Things are tough here also. So dont be to hard on him. J and I are having our own issues I wont get into just now. Its rough though. You have more than likely read my issues. I dont blame you for not getting into them. They are ones I wish I could put on the back burner till next year. Well anyway again hope things are better tonight for you both. Tweets.
Yeah, every now and then John and I argue over stupid shit too. With him though, he'll never argue when he thinks he's right, he'll just pretend to agree with me and then do whatever he was going to do anyway... pisses me off something awful sometimes.
Yup, we all have our faults. It's not like I'm so wonderful - Richard could rant about me aplenty if he wanted to. ;)
Tweets, I've given a lot of thought to the post I think you're referring to, about the church? I was going to comment or email you about it now that I've chewed it over. At first I was going to stay out of it because it's such a personal choice for you guys, but I do have something to say: Take your time, look around, and find a church that works for BOTH of you. Mark and I had this EXACT issue with the churches he was attending. Because I was raised Lutheran, I tended to like more liberal and formal churches, while Mark went for independent or evangelical ("holy-roller") types. I would attend church with him once in a while, but I wouldn't have joined any of them because they just weren't the right fit for me and I had little to offer them. If we were still married, I think I would insist on attending as many different churches as possible until we found one where we could both be comfortable and productive. If J urges you to attend a certain church against your instincts, it won't do you any good, and the reverse is true too: Going to a church that makes you happy but makes him miserable would just make you both unhappy! So look around, experiment, and go with your gut instincts. I'm sure there a lot of churches and Bible studies in your area you could try out, even if you just go for one service or session to get a first impression. A good Bible study does not necessarily have to be affiliated with the church you choose to attend, either! As a Lutheran I attended Evangelical, Baptist, and Nazarene Bible Studies and got something out of all of them (well, not so much with the Nazarene one..) So you could attend services at say, a United Church but go to weekly Bible studies at a Baptist church. Or whatever. A church that isn't overly demanding or coercive (*cult-like*) will not demand that you ONLY attend THEIR Bible studies, THEIR events, THEIR Christian workshops or camps. A healthy church will want you to get information from many different sources and experiences. A healthy church will NOT say, "Since you're a member here, you have to go to OUR Bible studies, not the ones at your friend's house." That's a sure sign of an unhealthy church: Trying to control what you study, where you go, how you think, and what you believe. The Nazarene Church Mark and I attended was like that. Everything was arranged through the church, right down to recreation, and anything else was basically forbidden.
If you don't feel that this church is the right fit for you at this time (or maybe not at any time), believe what your heart is telling you and resist your urge to give in to pressure just to please others. God speaks in a lot of interesting ways...maybe He's letting you know something!
Whew! Sorry to be so long-winded about this. But as someone who's been in the same boat you and J are in now, I'm really hoping I can help in some small way. I'll email more about this, too.
Keep strong and make the decisions you know are best for you and your family!
Thanks Sme. It has helped alot. We are suppose to see the Pastor tonight but I dont think we will for factors of him being sick and I hate taking the girls out to his house because they are noisy and cant sit still long enough to get through one study without screaming and having mom here break it up. I have been chewing on this, all week also and I am starting to think that its hard on me because I was brought up not believeing and also because I have a hard time tuning the girls out for just a little while. I have to know exactly where they are at when we do the studies so I have a harder time than J. I might have is stepped when I said Pastors been pressuring us to get baptized. Not recently but when we fist started he was. We havent heard that from him since a few month ago now. I guess it was his statement right before he left last week. I cant quote him exactly but he said something to the effect that if we cant connect its not worth his time to be doing this with us and he was looking at me when he said it. Like you I am sorry for being so long winded. Its hard to explain. I mean I cant even talk to my mom about this because she doesnt believe any of it and I know if I told her we were doing studies she would just drag him and us down the drain. Iam happy you gave me your input on this. Thanks. It is a hard decision to be made. Its nothing to be laughed at but then again its making me wonder where my life is leading me. Well enough of this. Thanks again. I will catch you later. Hope all is well on the home front today.
Tweets, SME has made a lot of the same points I've been thinking about. I'll probably call you about this, and other stuff we can think of, next week. This issue really isn't as hard as the pastor is making it. ;)
Thanks Tshsmom. I hope I brightened your night when I called tonight even for a few minutes. I will await your call. You know whats funny about this. After Sme gave me your number it hit me like a bulldozer. LOL.. I remembered it after the fact. Well anyway I really enjoy your opinions here and on my blog especially. Thanks my friends. Tweets.
Yeah, it sounds like a phase. I think I experienced the same thing. As long as it doesn't become a trend, I wouldn't worry too much, especially if you get Purdy's out of it!
BTW, what did you think of this week's LOST episode?
I'm sorry to say I popped an Imovane soon after it started, got all giggly and drowsy, and can barely remember a damn thing. But I recorded it, so I'll re-watch it tonight and comment.
I'm still trying to figure out what the hell was up with that brainwashing film.
Oh, one thing: I knew Cindy the flight attendant was DHARMA, 'cause you can't vanish walking up a hill next to lots of other people without some kind of fuss (plus she was only tail-wing survivor besides Goodwin and Nathan who urged Ana-Lucia not to venture into the jungle to escape the Others - she and Goodwin clearly wanted them to stay on the beach where they'd be easy pickins.) So...an Oceanic worker was part of the Initiative. Interesting.
I guess Juliet's stuck on the island now. They can hold Danny's murder over her head forever.
MEN!
You got THAT right, SB!! ;)
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