Saturday, November 17, 2007


I normally don't write about such things, but Richard and I had a fight tonight and I'm very upset. I guess, without fully realizing it, I've been losing patience with the 9/11 Truthers' debate over the merits of Robin Hordon's "civil informationing" vs. "civil disobedience" (what happened on Bill Maher's show). Richard has received a lot of criticism for championing civil informationing (CI) and for criticizing the downright rude stunts and antics of some Truthers (namely, Calgarians stalking/harrassing soldiers and hijacking Wal-Mart intercoms).

But the problem, for me, is that Richard has been debating this for a month now with some very stubborn people. He'll spend two hours on the phone, sometimes long-distance, trying to convince someone that CI is the way to go and that cheap publicity stunts like the Maher incident are only harming the movement. A few people listen respectfully to what he has to say and take it into consideration; others, like this a**hole, just don't get it and probably never will. They like negative attention. They crave it, apparently. Their actions bear as much relation to real civil disobedience as Cheez Wiz does to cheddar.

I told Richard several times that I think he should abandon this CI/CD debate and get back to the core issues, the real work. He interprets this as me not supporting him, me being a hypocrite (learning from books while he learns from people), me criticizing him, and me trying to get him to quit all 9/11-related activities. He said it's none of my business, which could be very true. Maybe I do need to stay out of this.

The fight started when Richard asked me, "Are you actually going to do anything around here [cleaning] while I'm at work tonight?" and me asking in reply, "Are you actually going to turn off that paranoid b.s. [the late Aaron Russo, in Zeitgeist, telling us we're all going to be microchipped soon because Nicholas Rockefeller said so] and say anything else to me before you go to work?" And it went from there into his activism in general.

For some reason he thinks I want him to prop himself in front of the TV to watch hockey, "the pedophile club" (To Catch a Predator), or soap operas. That's what other people (co-workers, family, etc.) in his life want him to do, maybe, but I've never expected nor wanted that from him.

I've had a lot of problems with my sinuses and my sleep lately. I'm a little depressed because I can't do all the things I want to do. I've let the housework slide. Needless to say, this doesn't make Richard happy, either. He thinks it's my way of telling him I don't approve of any of his 9/11 work, which isn't the case. I do support his Truth movement work even though I don't share all his views. I just think it's time to stop with the infighting and continue with the activism.

I don't know. I just feel like a bad person and a bad partner right now. I'm obviously not being supportive or understanding enough, I'm being a lousy housefrau, and I guess I need to cool it with the Dateline reruns, too.


Laura said...

That's a tough situation. Can you get Skype instead for the calls - that way at least long distance would be free (I know that's a minor problem, but still).

I know a lot of couples that disagree about core issues - whether political, religious, or activist. It can work as long as there's mutual trust that a disagreement about the issue is not a criticism about the person. From what I hear, you have that, so I think you'll be OK. Try to frame disagreements in terms of the issue rather than the person and that might lessen the tension some.


SME said...

Our ld plan isn't bad, it's just the amount of time devoted that gets to me once in a while...
As far as mutual trust and respect goes, you're right, there's no real problem there - and we're able to keep it from being personal 99% of the time. But, being steeped in this Truth stuff 24/7 can be a real bummer and I need to vent on occasion just to deal with it. I think in this case it wasn't solely the 9/11 stuff that was getting to me, it was the other irrational stuff that other people in the movement come up with...vaccine paranoia, bizarre alternative-health practices, even stranger conspiracy theories, etc. I swear it's like visiting another planet sometimes. I just wanna say to some of these people, "OK, so if I get detained in a FEMA camp when U.S. martial law takes over Canada...I won't have to listen to you anymore? Great. Bring it on."